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| Super-duper Joke Thread | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: February 21, 2014, 10:11 am (62,967 Views) | |
| Blackjack | February 21, 2014, 10:11 am Post #1 |
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After giving it some thought I have decided to create the Super-duper Joke Thread where all of the jokes can be posted rather than opening a new thread every day. This way you all can add jokes of your own too. Let's go! Emergency call. There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this: Caller: Help me, please help me; there is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me; can you please help me, and send the fire squad right away? Fire Department:Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax wait until he leaves. Caller:You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me; it is going to be fatal! Fire Department: Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous, by the way who is calling? Caller: I’m Josephine’s parrot you jerk! Help me please, please help! |
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| Blackjack | July 1, 2014, 3:31 pm Post #346 |
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:pound |
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| cricket55 | July 2, 2014, 6:54 pm Post #347 |
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Did you hear the joke about the pizza??? It was pretty cheesy. |
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| warrior-child | July 2, 2014, 7:18 pm Post #348 |
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:groan :wink |
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| Blackjack | July 5, 2014, 7:37 am Post #349 |
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Been kind of busy lately. Here's an update. An Irishman an Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar in Sydney. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional. "But," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in Glasgow there's a little bar called McTavish's. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy four drinks he will buy the fifth drink for you." "Well," said the Englishman, "At my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two." "Ahhh, that's nothin," said the Irishman, "Back home in Dublin there's Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another. All the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough to drink they'll take you upstairs and see that you get physically satisfied. All on the house." The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's claims. He swears every word is true. "Well" said the Englishman "Did this actually happen to you?" "Not myself personally, no" said the Irishman, "But it did happen to my sister." |
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| warrior-child | July 5, 2014, 7:39 pm Post #350 |
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:Not funny at all. (Post 349) 'Did not care for the last one at all. (I was reading jokes aloud to DD#4and her family, just reading without pre checking them out... ) ------- Sigh after reading through lots, it is a good thing that I have decided to just proof read before sharing anymore. Some are pretty good, while others are not ... :-X Edited by warrior-child, July 5, 2014, 8:27 pm.
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| warrior-child | July 5, 2014, 7:44 pm Post #351 |
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:thumb Everyone enjoyed these |
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| warrior-child | July 5, 2014, 7:52 pm Post #352 |
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:lol |
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| warrior-child | July 5, 2014, 7:56 pm Post #353 |
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:hysterical |
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| warrior-child | July 5, 2014, 8:01 pm Post #354 |
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:lol |
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| warrior-child | July 5, 2014, 8:16 pm Post #355 |
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:hysterical I love this one! |
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| M. Hawbaker | July 6, 2014, 4:58 am Post #356 |
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A young couple moved into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging her laundry outside. “That laundry is not very clean,” she says. “She doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.” Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her laundry to dry, the young woman would make the same comments. About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, “Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder how that happened?” The husband said, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.” |
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| Blackjack | July 6, 2014, 5:25 am Post #357 |
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Sorry. |
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| Blackjack | July 7, 2014, 7:24 am Post #358 |
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An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school. "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home. |
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| cricket55 | July 7, 2014, 5:26 pm Post #359 |
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:heh |
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| M. Hawbaker | July 9, 2014, 11:59 am Post #360 |
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Father: How were your test scores? Son: Underwater. Father: What do you mean underwater? Son: Below "C" level. |
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